Published June 2002
37 Pages
PDF format $35
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Turn a rambling, 708
word traditional release
into a crisp, clear 114-
word media alert that
gives editors several
story angles to pursue.
Learn to write a pitch
letter that makes you a
ready-for-prime-time
interview subject.
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Convert a downright
dull release about a
new product into a
compelling email
pitch letter.
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2004 Expanded Edition
Reality PR™: PRESS RELEASES (AND EMAILS) FROM HELL
AND HOW TO FIX THEM
How to get media coverage for your business now.
Excerpt
Example 1
BEFORE
Mindless Ventures: Company crap
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In this first example, the headline would work better if it explained why the agreement was significant. The subheading is simply ridiculous. What is a larger umbrella event? How is this different from a smaller umbrella event. And who cares?
The 111-word first paragraph, replete with grammatical errors, is far too long for a lead. And what the heck is an umbrella name? From a journalistic point of view, a lead is supposed to explain who, what, where, why and when. When you finish reading this lead your head is so full of acronyms that it's spinning. And since only 22,000 people attended the show, it's hardly front-page news. So why put the number in the lead?
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MINDLESS VENTURES REACHES AGREEMENT
WITH BII MEDIA TO BUY AND RUN SHOWBIZ SHOW
Will Co-locate with The Hollywood DV Show under a larger umbrella event, Entertainment Technology Expo, scheduled June 7-9 2003 at the Hollywood Convention Center.
Hollywood, CA: www.mindless.com Mindless Ventures, Inc. (MVI) today announced that they have reached an agreement in principle with BII to assume the ownership and running of ShowBiz Show. (SBS) As Hollywood's longest running entertainment production conference and expo, ShowBiz Show will be celebrating its 20th year of servicing Hollywood's informational needs. SBS will be combined with The Hollywood DV Show so as to cover every creative and technical aspect of the film and digital media, pre/production/post process. Both events were run last summer in Los Angeles and generated a total of 22,000 attendees. The combination of SBS and The Hollywood BV Show (HBS) will be introduced under the umbrella name, Entertainment Technology Expo.
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AFTER
Mindless Ventures
News:
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The headline now explains what happened, which is what it is supposed to do. This 58-word lead tells the same story, but it's clear, it's factual and it's to the point. Those are three qualities journalists appreciate. And this lead puts the story in perspective. What is important is that the
mega-show will take place.
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HOLLYWOOD'S TWO LARGEST ENTERTAINMENT
INDUSTRY SHOWS TO BE COMBINED INTO MEGA-SHOW
Two of the entertainment industry's largest trade shows, Show Biz Show, (SBS) and The Hollywood BV Show (HBS) will be combined into Entertainment Technology Expo to cover every creative and technical aspect of the film and digital media, pre/production/post process. Joe Jones, president of MVI, www.mindless.com, which will own and run the new expo, announced the deal today.
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B.L.
Ochman
whatsnextonline.com's new report PRESS RELEASES [AND EMAILS]
FROM HELL AND HOW TO FIX THEM shows you - using 15 before and
after examples - how to get media coverage for your business now.
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NOW!
Learn how to write releases, pitch letters, media alerts and announcements journalists
will read.
Especially if you learned your PR skills before 1996 this report will help you
get up to date. You'll learn what works now. By example, not theory.
Find the real hook for your story and state it in 40 words or less.
BUY
NOW!
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